Tips for a Stress-Free Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a time for family, gratitude, and togetherness, but it can also bring sensory overload and unexpected challenges, especially for families with an autistic child. With a little preparation and flexibility, you can create a more enjoyable experience for everyone. Here are some practical tips to help you navigate Thanksgiving with your autistic child.

Autistic children thrive on routine, and holidays can disrupt that. Preparing your child in advance helps set expectations and reduces anxiety.

• Talk About Thanksgiving Early: Use simple language to explain what Thanksgiving is and what to expect. If your child uses visual aids, create a picture schedule or social story to outline the day.
• Practice New Experiences: If you’re hosting or visiting someone new, practice scenarios like sitting at a large table or meeting relatives. This helps your child feel more comfortable.
• Preview the Menu: If your child is particular about food, let them know what’s being served. Offer familiar options alongside traditional dishes so they have something they enjoy.

Including your child in the planning process gives them a sense of control.

• Pick a Job for Them: Let your child help with tasks like setting the table or choosing decorations. This makes them feel included and reduces anxiety about the day’s changes.
• Create a Safe Space: Designate a quiet area where your child can retreat if the day feels overwhelming. Stock it with favorite toys, noise-canceling headphones, or a weighted blanket.

Thanksgiving can be a sensory overload with loud conversations, new smells, and crowded spaces.

• Limit Overwhelming Sounds: Use noise-canceling headphones or play calming music in a separate space. If the gathering is large, consider splitting time between the main room and a quieter one.
• Be Mindful of Smells: Strong food aromas can be overwhelming. Keep the kitchen ventilated, or let your child sit farther from the cooking area if needed.
• Dress Comfortably: Let your child wear clothing that feels good to them, even if it’s not traditional holiday attire. Scratchy fabrics or tight clothes can trigger discomfort.

Every family has their own traditions, but it’s okay to adapt them to suit your child’s needs.

• Shorten Events if Needed: If your child gets overwhelmed easily, plan for a shorter visit or celebrate at home. It’s okay to leave early or take breaks.
• Skip Activities That Cause Stress: If your child dislikes group games or large gatherings, find alternative ways to celebrate. Watching a Thanksgiving-themed movie or doing a craft together can be just as meaningful.
• Adjust Meal Times: If your child eats at a specific time, stick to their schedule as closely as possible. Offering snacks before the meal can help bridge the gap.

Not everyone may understand your child’s needs. A little communication can go a long way.

• Share What Works: Briefly explain your child’s preferences or sensitivities to guests. For example, let them know if your child avoids hugs or prefers to eat alone.
• Advocate for Your Child: If someone offers unsolicited advice or comments, respond politely but firmly. Your child’s comfort comes first.
• Teach Family Members: If appropriate, explain autism in simple terms to younger cousins or relatives. This fosters understanding and inclusion.

Food can be a tricky area during Thanksgiving, especially with sensory or dietary restrictions.

• Bring Safe Foods: If your child has a limited diet, bring familiar dishes they enjoy. This ensures they have something to eat without pressure to try new foods.
• Don’t Push Tastes: Avoid insisting your child eat traditional dishes. Instead, offer them in small amounts alongside preferred foods. Exposure without pressure can be more effective over time.
• Plan for Allergies: If your child has food allergies, communicate with the host or prepare a separate plate to avoid cross-contamination.

Holiday traditions are important, but it’s okay to adjust them to fit your family’s needs.

• Create New Traditions: If large gatherings or formal meals don’t work, start new traditions that suit your child. A cozy family dinner, a gratitude jar, or a Thanksgiving nature walk can be just as meaningful.
• Focus on What Matters: The heart of Thanksgiving is gratitude and connection. Keep that as your priority, even if it means simplifying the day.

Praising your child for handling challenges helps build their confidence.

• Acknowledge Their Efforts: Even small successes, like trying a new food or sitting at the table, deserve recognition. Use specific praise like, “I’m proud of how you stayed calm during dinner.”
• Offer Rewards: If your child responds well to incentives, promise a small reward after the event. This could be extra screen time or a favorite treat.

Despite planning, things might not go perfectly—and that’s okay.

• Have a Backup Plan: If your child becomes overwhelmed, be prepared to leave or pivot activities. Prioritize their comfort over sticking to the schedule.
• Stay Calm: Your child will look to you for cues. Staying calm and patient helps them feel more secure, even if things don’t go as planned.

After Thanksgiving, take time to reflect on what worked and what didn’t.

• Ask for Feedback: If your child is verbal, ask what they liked or disliked. This can guide future holidays.
• Celebrate Success: Focus on the positive moments, no matter how small. Building on those successes can make future holidays easier.

Thanksgiving doesn’t have to be stressful for families with an autistic child. With planning, patience, and flexibility, you can create a holiday that feels joyful and inclusive for everyone. Remember, what matters most is spending time together and showing gratitude for each other.